"My mommy hates freedom."

Now before you go get your knickers in a knot, let me explain. For the record, I so do not hate freedom. Or Jesus or puppies or ice cream and rainbows, while we're at it. The phrase, "Why do you hate freedom?" has a bit of a backstory that I need to let you in on before I continue with the rest of this post.

For me, it all started back in the beginning of Dubya's second term in office. This joke was floating around the interwebs:



Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

Ever since then, it's become the go-to punchline with Jeff, friends and me. For example:

Me: Hey, do you want lasagne for dinner? I'm really in the mood for Italian, tonight.
Jeff: No...I don't really feel like having lasagne.
Me: What?! Lasagne is awesome! Why don't you want lasagne? Why do you hate freedom?

or

Barb: Ooooh, turn it up! I LOVE Steely Dan!
Me: Ugh, I can't stand them. There's just something about them that gets on my nerves.
Barb: You don't like Steely Dan?!? Why do you hate freedom?

And so on and so forth.

Well, apparently, said phrase has soaked into the vocabulary of my 6 year old because not too long ago, Andy said it for the first time. It went down something like this:

(The scene opens with a queue line in front of the Beast at King's Island in Cincinnati. Two young boys, flanked by their fathers, are in line and have befriended one another. The youngsters are discussing important topics such as roller coasters, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. All is going well until Boy #1 changes the subject.)

Andy: My mommy hates freedom. Does your mommy hate freedom?

Boy #2 (gives Andy a puzzled look, then one to his father and then turns back to Andy) Um...I don't think she does.

(Silence, the kind you can cut with a knife, sets in and suffocates the budding friendship between the two, young boys. Awkward glances are exchangd between fathers. The queue advances and no one speaks a word.)

End scene.

So, little boy, if you're out there...

IT WAS A JOKE! Andy's mommy does NOT hate freedom.













But she seriously dislikes Ann Coulter.